It was a day not unlike the one before and the one after. I was hurried, late for something, pushing my newborn son through the business of Brooklyn sidewalks with my preschool daughter in tow. I’m sure I had forgotten something so I went down the list as I walked:
Diaper bag? Check.
Both kids? Check.
So what did I forget? All day I had a sense I had forgotten something. What I found is the sense of missing something always seemed to accompany a day that started in baby chaos. The first few years are full of events I would have only thought happened in funny parenting movies - explosive infant diarrhea, a pre-schooler covered from head to toe in lipstick, the rotating sick-ward in our house.
Understandably, these things will throw you a bit off schedule.
It was obvious that I was unprepared for this newfound relationship with time. Any sense of control over the day seemed artificial. At some point thankfully I loosened the grip a bit and found myself reveling in moments that once seemed unproductive and wasteful and the more wonder I found, the more aware I became of how extreme time could seem.
It has been a curious transition for me as a parent to accept the relativity of time between life before and after kids. How inconsistent time feels as a parent and how little control we have in those first few months. The unbearably slow and lightening fast moments can sometimes blur into one another making even the most well intentioned and prepared person dizzy and overwhelmed.
As Wild Doves is steadily moving along, the juggling will speed up. All of us know we don’t have enough hours in the day but to build self awareness and live in the present can help us to prevent wipe out by the waves of baby chaos. After all, time is relative and limited. As we pause this week for Thanksgiving, consider giving thanks for time.